First.
You sit next to me and smile. Carnivorously. You flip your dark hair aside, your fingers linger at your lips for a moment. Not sure what to ask me, you just keep eye contact with that hell of a confidence that never seems to leave you. I fell for it in a second. The danger you pose, the unwavering confidence that lingers in your glance whenever you look at me. It tells me about all sorts of things, none of them are decent. You want everything. Me, the world, maybe even the universe. You want everything hard and fast and under your control and I admire you for it. I admire you for just how dangerous and deadly you are.
Second.
You seem way too girly for a bully and yet, you are one. With those cherry-coloured lips curling into a half-smile whenever you’re about to deliver a verbal punch. You’re good at this and you know that just as much as I do. You love inflicting pain; that was the first thing I really liked about you. You love to see just how much damage you can cause with only words leaving your sweet lips. I fell in love with your cruelty the first time we met and you don’t seem to be able to stop torturing me ever since. It causes you as much pleasure as it causes me. We bullying each other; it’s a thrill. Just to see how much we can go without a kiss, a touch, a smile… And then you lean in and press your lips against my cheeks. It lasts only for a minute, and then you get up with an impish grin on your face just to wave goodbye again. Feeling-wise, it’s always been sado-mazo with you. It’s always been a thrill.
Third
You’re so gentle sometimes I just feel like I could melt. You take my hand and kiss it, you open all doors for me. Yet, that’s not the reason I like you. It’s part of it, of course, but what lies beyond it… that underlying sense of mischief and determination; that’s what really gets to me. You lean close when you know others are watching. You’re teasing them, obviously, and I have no words to describe just how much I look forward to this little game of yours. I feel your warm breath upon my ears and then you whisper nasty things to me. I smile at you and bite my lips in a seductive manner. You tease me, I tease you; that’s the way it goes, and neither of us would settle for less than that. We’re really close now; inappropriately, even dangerously. People around us are aware and watching eagerly, waiting for the scene to get even more obvious. It doesn’t, though. I just lick the sauce off my finger and have you kiss me on the cheek. That’s it and no more for the crowd. Nobody but us know what happens when the people are gone. When there’s no one watching us, when you’re holding my hips with both hands and… shh.
Fourth
You’re a bore. I tried to like you; I just really couldn’t. At first I thought seducing you would be fun. You’d be a flower that blossoms under pressure and all, but it’s not the case; at least that much is painfully clear now. I prefer when you’re not talking; you never talk much sense anyway. You’re a much better kisser than a companion, though your foolish bullshit does make me laugh every now and then. I don’t wish you to be gone. I just don’t want to know about you still being anywhere near. Keep to yourself and let me do the same. Maybe one day you’ll grow, baby.
Five (5th)
I’ve written too much about you already. Maybe not here, but I did, though. I just have one more thing to say. You’re SO full of anger and violence and what’s really tragic is that you don’t even realise it. You think you wouldn’t be capable of hurting anyone… Well, yeah, let me tell you something; you would. You have already and you would do it again any time you flip. You’re damn deep in denial, I hope you’re aware. So just don’t play a saint anymore; it gets boring eventually.
Sixth
You’re a pretender. And a good one at that, I have to admit. The way your brain works… it’s fascinating. You build up conspiratory ideas every second and always assume the worst. It’s truly amazing how you don’t trust anyone, starting with the people you’re attracted to. You want me and we both know that pretty well. I hate you just as much you hate me and it feels a bit like… omnipotent power. We can only ever hurt each other but at least we’re quite good at that. Playing power games is a mutual favourite of us, it seems. You’re just as sharp as I am and it really gets me going in the weirdest ways. I wanna bring you down, crush you, humiliate you; all this with only my intellect. I want to see you beg for me to stop it and at the same time I want to beg you not to stop, provided that you know what I’m referring to here. You’re a sexy fucker and you know that. It was a pleasure seeing your confidence melt away when it became clear that I ain’t dating you. Ever. However, I thought about you quite a lot after that, I have to admit. You’ll always be my sweetest enemy; one of us will bleed in the end.
Last (7th)
I have nothing to say to you. You don’t exist to me. Not anymore. You died the moment you’ve let me down. I know I should be all vulnerable and angsty about this but I just can’t. I wouldn’t ever cry for trash like you. I hope you die. I have nothing else to say.
So do you think you’ve recognized any of this people? Just let me know your guesses.
JBV
J's photoalbum of youth, and loves, and in betweens 